Why I Prefer Zero Friends

If you don't like me because I care too much and you find it pretentious, that I speak with brutal honesty and don't side with you all the time, especially when you're in the wrong -- why include me in your roster of so-called friends or family? Why invite me to your meetups with your other set of friends that I really don't vibe with and ostracize me at the same time? To the extent that some even gave me the head-to-toe stare, judging my gadget of choice at the time. It really was funny, actually.

That's why it's been a while since I stopped caring about people. But it ignited once more when I witnessed a continuous pattern of lies and deceit, which I don't want to be part of when things go awry for those people involved. I DISASSOCIATE MYSELF WITH LIARS AND CHEATERS (and anything you can think of that is relevant). I don't tolerate. I don't enable. I call them out when needed.

It just breaks my heart that the person I considered a friend for a time turned out to be a fake. I just learned that she perceives me as pretentious, even though I was simply being myself. Pretending is not my game. Maybe she wasn't used to that kind of treatment since no one cared for her before, and all I could offer was a genuine friendship. But she took it differently.

So, for those reading this who consider me a friend but have doubts about the kind of friendship that I offer, let's cut the cord. We don't need each other anyway. It was just a phase. I've cut cords with a best friend too (it was years ago when it happened), because the accusation was just too much when I wasn't able to give her time, and all I did was focus on raising my child with my husband. She didn't even bother to respond to what I shared with her via DM when I needed her the most, at the time when my brother died. She shut me down, then she played the victim.

It's been a while since I've realized I've surrounded myself with people with narcissistic traits (born to it as well..but we all are anyway, some are just too much they raise their narc flag out in the open), that I somehow adapted their demeanor for a while, and then decided I don't want to be like them for them to like me, for me to belong. I reflected, they don't. THEY DON'T WANT ACCOUNTABILITY.

The saddest part of it all is that most of the people I treated as friends didn't even bother to reach out to me. They were accustomed to me reaching out to them frequently. It's tiring. That's why I stopped caring. The last straw was just a few weeks ago when it was ignited because it involved my husband and son.

So, if you're used to me caring for you, expect it to be less, more so none. I'm dead tired. I just realized (yes, many realizations over the years) that I was caring too much because no one genuinely cared for me. I was a people pleaser. But now, I don't care anymore. Before, I would do everything for everyone to the extent that I would cancel my plans just to accommodate someone. That I would cook, serve, and clean up just to make my "visitors" happy. And that I would find ways to help solve their problems and contribute something to them. Now, I'm done.

As I happily sang earlier at our dining table during breakfast, "I'm so happy I don't have friends like them," I am clearly disassociating myself from my so-called friends. Farewell, amigos.

I'm so happy and grateful to have a husband and son (and a cat) with me.