Life of a Stay/Work-At-Home Mom

There is a slight difference between a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) and a work-at-home mom (WAHM): more deadlines for the latter. But both types of moms share the same feelings of depression, loneliness, guilt, and happiness all at the same time.

Surprisingly, in this day and age, there are still a lot of us who chose to stay home!

Yes, it's true that being able to take care of your little one hands-on is precious while your other half provides for the family. But others seem to think that we can do anything because we have all the time in the world, well, they are wrong.

Some moms have this capacity to manage their time and still sprung up on a very gorgeous and calm demeanor. Well, that's because they have help even if they're SAHM/WAHM, and nothing's wrong with that (lucky mommies..hehe). Unlike some moms, they don't have help from family or friends because they chose to, or due to many other reasons that usually boils down to trust issues.

Let me clarify that I'm not mom-shaming here. I'm just stating facts. Kudos to all moms (and dads) out there who really do their best to take care of their kids.

Here are some things that most SAHMs and WAHMs could relate to and for others to understand what we're pulling through each day:

• You thought you're ready, but you're not. Most parents would agree to this, that no matter how well-planned or well-researched you are in building your family, or on how to take care of your child, parenthood is not something you could do out of a textbook or from people's advice. It's a case by case thing. That's why there's such a word as "individual" because everyone's different.

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• You don't get to do what you normally do. Listening to your jam is one of the things you will miss the most because once you have this canoodling little baby of yours, you automatically like nursery rhymes and even memorize each song especially those that you haven't heard before. Even taking a pee would be different since you now have an audience with you this time.

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• Giving up your career. Even if you are totally prepared on being a hands-on parent, you will most likely miss your days strutting the busy streets of the metro going to work, get stressed out on your job (or traffic) yet feels accomplished during payday, and having a normal social life.

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• Baby first! You are in the middle of working (online), writing a blog, reading a book, watching a movie/series, or whatever you do while your baby sleeps when he/she suddenly awakes from the supposedly deep slumber -- now, there goes your me-time. This happens most often.

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• Work when the baby sleeps. You can just do online work or whatever side jobs you are doing during naps and when the baby sleeps at night. No explanation needed here.

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• You can only do part-time work. Working at home full-time when your baby is still young (around 6 months to 2 years) is not realistic. Unless you are a fan of no sleep, then good job, mother! But if you want to take care of your baby, get some sleep. You don't want your mood to get in your way the next day because you lack sleep. I'm actually guilty of this. I'm working part-time online and sometimes I only get a few hours of sleep and I wake up so grumpy.

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• Feeling isolated. No matter how many friends you have, you'll find yourself stuck in the comforts of your home because you have a baby. They have lives too, so don't expect them to visit you, and you may not want visitors most of the time because you'd rather sleep than entertain guests. Most of us live on a budget, so going out would add to our expenses. And with a baby on the side, it's really tedious preparing your kid in going out, what more if you already went out. So, you'd later prefer to stay at home instead. It's just you and your baby, hence, you'll feel isolated because you're no longer connected to what's really happening out there. This also leads to...

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• You envy your husband having a life out there, even if you shouldn't. You and your hubby have this understanding that you stay at home to take care of your child (and work online or have a side job) while he goes to work. But sometimes, you just feel envious that he gets to talk with other people. Yes, there's social media and technology to do the communication part, but there's a huge difference when it comes to interacting with other people. And he gets to see the world out there, even if it's stressful. At this point, you get to appreciate every little detail in life, and you're longing for experiencing it. With a baby on your side, you are limited to places that you guys could go to.

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• Losing your identity. You get to question yourself who you are at some point on the early months/years postpartum. Because of the mommy-wife duties, you are no longer connected with yourself. You tend to prioritize your baby and the household, which is not wrong. It's a maternal instinct, I guess. So you set aside what interests you as you are still in the process of getting to know your kid/s and learning with them at the same time.

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• Overwhelmed, tired, irritated, no interest in anything. Some think that taking care of your little one is a walk in the park. Feeding takes a lot of patience and energy. Putting your baby to sleep is a struggle. Even brushing your baby's teeth takes a lot of work! Doing chores is not really possible because all eyes should be on your baby. A simple play time is too exhausting for an adult because you already lack sleep, you've got tons of things running in your head, you always worry about your child, thus, you're like a human CCTV 24/7 just to make sure he/she is safe, and then you have to have the energy and enthusiasm when playing. Due to the lack of sleep and energy, mood swings come your way. Then suddenly you no longer have any interest to whatever you are fond of doing before and all you wanted is a break, even for a couple of minutes. You may find yourself staring at a blank space quite often.

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• Getting dolled-up when going to the grocery. Some moms don't get to put their makeup on a couple of months postpartum because they are dead tired and they care less about the way they look. But a year after, they'll find themselves getting dolled up only when going to the mall or when doing your grocery or going to the local market (aka palengke) because it's the only time they get to strut away from home. After all, they don't need to dress up when working online and let the bruha side of them loose, unless you're working online that requires a video facing your client, then you have to look proper.

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• Less bath time -- to no bath time. With too much chaos around the house, you most likely forget to take a bath or make it on the last part of your priority list. Sometimes you'll doze off at night and forget to take a bath.

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• You find yourself browsing more on your social media feeds. Whenever the baby sleeps, busy playing, or drinking his or her milk, you take that opportunity to browse your Facebook or Instagram--a guilty pleasure of millenial moms.

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• You yearn for meaningful conversations. Gibberish talk with your baby and learning ABCs and 123s would take up most of your day. Since you are already filled with gossips from social media, you now want an interesting and meaningful conversation with anyone because at this point in life, you now take adulting seriously. Petty topics no longer interest you. Anything that has something to do with childcare is your number one pick.

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So before they go tell us SAHMs and WAHMs to get a "real" job, raising a child takes a lot of work - building them as responsible people for the future of the society.

Have I missed something from the list above? Let me know on the comment section below and I'll update this list. :) Go share this to fellow moms (or husbands) and let's take a moment and laugh together.